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"Allowing with Watercolors" online series!
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Welcome to
The Great Allowing!
Explore, Learn, Practice and Grow together
The Great Allowing is a community space where we can slow down, reflect, explore and share what the concept of “allowing” means to each of us. You may discover a sense of freedom. You may learn to trust a knowing that comes from a source that’s deeper and far more vast than the mind, the brain or individual will. You may come to trust what any given moment is offering when you “just allow.” Through the practice of allowing, you can build the capacity to trust that something greater supports you. This is a big ask for many of us who were taught that it was necessary to impose our own will in any given situation, to work hard and to persevere "to get anywhere" in life.
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My vision is to bring together a community of people who are dedicated to fostering meaningful conversations, sharing experiences and promoting growth. Whether you're interested in mindfulness, mental health, personal development, ecopsychology, spirituality or art, the process of Allowing is not only relevant but instrumental.
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Please join me and others on the journey of the Great Allowing. Let’s learn and grow together. This platform will offer insights, resources and support for individuals who are interested in loosening their grip on the need to control, direct and manage everything, and instead, open to the Great Allowing.
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The blog is a place where we can begin to share reflections, personal stories and practices that will help support the changes we want to make in our lives.
Join my email list to stay updated on the latest blogs, conversations, insightful content and other offerings.
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Let's embark on this transformative journey together and embrace the power of The Great Allowing.
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Start Allowing today!
About Me
I feel it is important for you to know a bit about me to appreciate how important this practice of allowing has been for me.
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During the first 35 years of my life, the values that were deeply ingrained in me were cultivating an independent spirit, learning to do things on my own, and persevering. Although these served me well, there have been consequences. These consequences became apparent as I developed the capacity to allow and let go of my willful ways. The value of allowing was not instilled in me.
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I grew up in New England and, as I like to say, "You can take the girl out of New England, but you can't take the New England out of the girl." I was raised to be pragmatic and productive. I was raised to be a "doing" machine. I learned to pull myself up by the bootstraps and do what needed to get done. The idea that I could slow down, trust and allow things to unfold was contrary to everything I learned, everything that I was valued for, everything that I was good at.
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I received a Bachelor's of Science degree in Physical Education with a focus on exercise physiology from Penn State University. Early in my career, I was a fitness trainer and worked as an assistant aquatics director during which time I competed in endurance triathlons.
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After moving to Santa Fe in the mid ‘90s, I worked in the non-profit sector for two decades. I served as director of Upaya Zen Center; operations and event manager at Bioneers; and director of programs and managing director at the Academy for the Love of Learning.
In all of these roles, I was responsible for managing people, solving problems, and implementing ideas and visions. I was a good “doing” machine. But I became frustrated and tired because I knew there was more to who I was beyond what I could do. Administering things began to feel like skating over the surface of what was actually important. Simultaneously, I had opportunities to explore expanded states of consciousness through meditation, nature-based solitude, Grof (Holotropic) Breathwork, and consciousness-altering substances. It was through this work that something internally began to shift.
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In 2015, I began a career change which resulted in a masters degree in counseling from Southwestern College and certification as a facilitator in Grof (Holotropic) Breathwork. This change required me to focus much more on “being” than “doing.” My intention was to prepare to step into the emerging field of Psychedelic-Assisted Psychotherapy when it became legal. Psychedelics have yet to be legalized in most states; in the meantime, I've have found many relevant and creative ways to use these skills and resources.
Finding my way to The Great Allowing
I have been deeply committed to work that facilitates the transformative process in both individuals and the collective. By “transformative process,” I mean life experiences that explore the mind, body, psyche and soul in an attempt to challenge and transform the way we move through the world. As an adult, I’ve claimed that my life’s work was to guide people out of their comfort zone, because that is usually where true transformation takes place. This started with exploring the edges of my own comfort zone through my involvement in athletics and, in particular, competing in triathlons. Growing up I was always involved in sports, but as a young adult I started to test my physical and psychological limits. I began doing road races and shorter triathlons, and within two years I was running marathons and competing in Ironman Triathlons. This path required me to be very driven. My ability to set a goal and achieve it reinforced the motto, “Where there’s a will, there's a way.” After nearly a decade of persistent triathlon competition, I found myself exhausted and out of balance, and I was beginning to question my compulsion to push, endure and achieve. At the time, I didn’t have the capacity to allow and trust that there was so much more beyond my own driven nature. But something much bigger than me was at work.
Oddly enough, during this time of driving myself to the edge of physical limitations, I was reading books that explored the limitless nature of our internal landscape. I read Addiction to Perfection by Marion Woodman. Woodman set me on a path of deeper exploration of my feminine side. I read numerous Jungian authors and became intrigued with the animus and anima, the soul, the unconscious, archetypes, the individuation process, and the emphasis on the whole human being. Thus began my further exploration of, and deepening relationship to, the work of Carl Jung.
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My transition from endurance triathlons to exploring psychological aspects within myself began when I participated in a modern-day version of a vision quest – a wilderness fast – offered at Upaya, a Buddhist retreat center in Santa Fe, New Mexico in the mid 90's. I approached the wilderness fast, which incorporated four days and nights of solo fasting in the desert of northern New Mexico, as I had most other experiences in my life. I was determined to endure, overcome, and be victorious. Skillful facilitators encouraged me to let go of my “doing” drive, and for the first time in my life, I spent time “being”. In the context of the natural world, I slowed down enough to pay attention and simply be present with myself, free of any expectations. The experience was life-altering in many ways: I was able to acknowledge and nourish my neglected feminine side; I discovered the transformative power of the natural world; I had an embodied experience of stillness; I experienced a sense of “coming home” to my true self.
Looking back, this profound experience in nature was my first experience of The Great Allowing. Within two years of my first wilderness fast, I moved to the Southwest, which proved to be another form of “coming home.” During this time, my passion and natural capacity for guiding individuals beyond their own physical and psychological comfort zones was reinforced. What form this would take was not yet revealed, but there was no turning back.
In retrospect, this “coming home to my true self” marked the beginning of tending to my own soul. Stepping onto this path more than 25 years ago led me to deep work with a Jungian analyst and expanded-states-of-consciousness work. The term “The Great Allowing” describes the opportunity that this work consistently invites me into.